Today I went to Mass and Adoration at Old Saint Mary in Milwaukee. Right before I left, it turned very dark outside and it was thundering with torrential rainfall. I wore a rain jacket thankfully, but my bottom half got soaked to the bone. In mass, when the priest was breaking bread, the sun came out, illuminating the stained glass windows of the Church, blasting it with sunlight. During Adoration, the congregation was led in the rosary by the Sacristan, and today was the Luminous Mysteries.
This was the first time I ever prayed the rosary in its true form. Unfortunately, I left early because I needed to stretch my legs, and walk around from kneeling for so long. I’m going back next Thursday, but I won’t kneel for 20 minutes. That’s what I get for trying to be too pious!
Saint Francis and St Claire of Assisi. The Cathedral of Saint John the Evangelist, Milwaukee. Sunday, May 25, 2025
I just experienced the most reverent Mass of my life thus far. It was at The Cathedral of Saint John the Evangelist, in its side chapel. The chapel is about the size of a small studio apartment, very sparse and beautiful. There was only about eight of us plus the priest. When I left I was floating down the street⦠it was quite the experience.
Upon getting to the cathedral, I tried going through the front doors, which were locked. Then it dawned on me to go into the side chapel entrance which I’ve never been before. When doing so I ran into two British travelers, a married couple, who were going around Milwaukee checking out different churches. We chatted for a bit, and I led them through the entrance. We walked past two women praying before the Tabernacle in Adoration, while entering the cathedrals main worship area. All the lights were off except for candles at various prayer stations. The two British folks sat down looking around in marvel. I ended up going to the prayer station that had Saint Francis and St Claire of Assisi. I prayed there for about 10 to 15 minutes, and realized that the mass was not going to happen. So I got up, and interrupted one of the young women praying, and asked if there was a mass going on. She was really nice, and told me to go to the side chapel. I apologized profusely because I’ve never been at the Cathedral for a daily Mass. She was totally awesome. Then I got seated, and prayed even more. I was sweating insanely, the humidity was so intense, plus my heart was beating heavily because I was going through a unique experience. I became super dizzy, and just started breathing deeply, and then everything fell into place.
I have to tell you, it was one of the most beautiful experiences in my life. Like I mentioned, I was floating down the street when I leftβ¦ I really didn’t want to leave the Cathedral, I just wanted to stay there in reverence. I swear, the Holy Spirit was everywhere, it was dripping off the walls and in the air.
Before my conversion to Roman Catholicism, I was a SΕtΕ Zen Buddhist for years, fueled by my heavy interest in Japanese culture, cuisine, literature and religion.
I don’t know the artists names, or years of production. I’m very happy that Catholicism is loose with iconography, and find it very wonderful that different cultures depict Jesus as one of them, most notably, Human, a child of God.
Meeting with the Knights of Columbus was a little overwhelming and humbling at the same time. There were a bunch of dudes (21-80+ years old) eating pizza, drinking soda and beer. I ended up chatting with a studious fellow who runs the Cathedral’s evangelistic programs. We hit it off when I brought up the Franciscan Order, and how it brought me here. After the formal speech and rundown, and questions were answered, I shook a few hands and took off. I was really tired and just wanted to relax and feed Ajari. So I got home and wrote a few emails in sincere gratitude. I’ll be going to the next meetingπ₯
The subtext of today’s Mass was rather profound and deeply esoteric. During the homily, our Priest asked us all to imitate Christ. I was thrown back to reading The Imitation of Christ (Thomas Γ Kempis) in my early twenties, during a time of high debauchery, frequent poverty and living with a Woman I thought soon to be my wife. Yet thirty years later, I’ve been wanting to revisit that book, and all the emotions surrounding it, because for some reason, it’s a bookmark in my development and will shed some light on my past by triggering said content.
It’s been awhile, and I finally went to Confession. I had to stand in line for almost an hour which in a weird way was psychologically pleasing. I was happy and a little freaked out to confess to Father Tim, who’s the same priest that baptized me. Fr. Tim made me laugh a few times, and offered very kind words of advice. When walking home I had a strange feeling of buoyancy, and the birds were singing louder than usual.
Had a great dream this morning. It was pitch black, and I heard a young Woman’s voice say, “Will you help him learn the Rosary?” Then I saw a little boy’s face. He had big brown eyes, dark brown hair, a huge smile, and he was cutely drooling everywhere. We locked eyes, then I woke up. Within minutes I realized that the little boy was, and is, me. I’ve been putting off on learning the Rosary, and now it’s time to pick it up, and help teach that little boy all about its Mysteries. Later on at Mass, the homily was all about loving others as oneself, and how not to pick sides in any conflict, but to love both sides equally. A few others, and myself became choked-up and had to dry our eyes more than once. After Mass I floated back home and wrote this. I must wholeheartedly admit, that the Holy Spirit is everywhere at once, even deep in our dreams. May God bless you all, no matter your belief, and may your senses be open to his everlasting light, love and compassion.
A year ago today I was baptized as a Roman Catholic, and renamed Lawrence Francis. It’s been a journey into exoteric and esoteric methods and history. The Transfiguration in itself is too beautiful to comprehend logically, yet faith is akin to falling in love and trust. There are many deserts and beautiful plateaus. Sweet sparrows, and slick scorpions. This journey will never end. May peace be with you!!
I’m completely humbled by my Baptismal experience. Father Tim (a very, very cool Priest) dumped about a gallon of Holy Water on my head, and that cold water put me back into my body. I was so nervous, I had to tell my sponsor that I might faint, and he (Sean) was like: “Just say my name, and I’ll catch you.” Sean also gave me his Rosary after Mass as a Confirmation gift. Being newly baptized, I stood at the entrance of the church during dismissal to greet folks as they were leaving. One parishioner, a young guy, said: “Your beard did not block out that big smile of yours.” I must admit, I was smiling beyond belief, for as I type this now, my jaw muscles are still sore. Standing at the doorway I shook everyone’s hands. Old and young alike, all welcomed me home. Again, I’m deeply humbled by this gratitude of strangers, who are now my newly adopted family. Some of my fellow RCIA students were at this Mass, and they took pictures, and yes, I’ll share those when I get copies. Oh yes, my Confirmation name is Francis, as in, St. Francis of Assisi (patron saint of animals, merchants, ecology, stowaways) π³πππ
Tomorrow I’m getting baptized as a Roman Catholic. I’ve been discerning this for some time. Joined RCIA back in September of 2021 after a heavy psychedelic experience in 2019 that led to a profound exposure. I remember being overwhelmed by unconditional love. It rattled my bones while I cried out in great gratitude. Dark past experiences were nullified, as I was being held by a deep loving force that totally understood me somehow. We ended up becoming friends, and I adopted a new Father, and tomorrow, I’ll be an adopted Son within the Mystical Body of Christ. Yes, I’m being somewhat poetic, perhaps little too dramatic and this might all come off as very strange. Please believe me in saying this: I’m the same entity that you know and hopefully trust, and I will never, ever, try to evangelize you, because I dislike those folks too. Yet if you have questions, please ask π. Love, love, and more love. Forever and always, and more.
Dubecian 